Sep 2021

my slumber started before the jump

“incessant rain”, I read in an old journal

12 was the age of learning the word incessant

could not think of other instances of incessant

incessant numbness
incessant loss
incessant misunderstanding

did not know the words for


no, they never teach these in school

no, they never talk about these in the family

also, in a play, never write things like “you never take the trash out”, “you never come in time”, “I never said this”, etc etc

it provokes a response that is “I did it last time!”, “You just said it now!” (always with exclamation marks, by the way)

which is to say, the arguments become predictable & trite, and unless the realism is something you can see through and use deliberately, it creates stale dialogues, unevolved psychology and


had no idea of these words

so instead called them


28 was the age of writing a play that ended with

a man’s monologue over




blood rushed towards eyes

words smudged and scrambled


then 732 fewer

then 1,049 more

sent as a heavy envolope with an address soon to be emptied

lost as

legs leapt
loon loomed
lance lacerated

it was too easy to make the end of the world a sacrifice

too easy to call it the end

if not the end

death or uncertainty?