my slumber started before the jump
“incessant rain”, I read in an old journal
12 was the age of learning the word incessant
could not think of other instances of incessant
incessant numbness
incessant loss
incessant misunderstanding
did not know the words for
numbness
loss
misunderstanding
no, they never teach these in school
no, they never talk about these in the family
also, in a play, never write things like “you never take the trash out”, “you never come in time”, “I never said this”, etc etc
it provokes a response that is “I did it last time!”, “You just said it now!” (always with exclamation marks, by the way)
which is to say, the arguments become predictable & trite, and unless the realism is something you can see through and use deliberately, it creates stale dialogues, unevolved psychology and
anyway
had no idea of these words
so instead called them
rain
28 was the age of writing a play that ended with
a man’s monologue over
rain
spelling
p-i-t-t-e-r-p-a-t-t-e-r
blood rushed towards eyes
words smudged and scrambled
10,474
then 732 fewer
then 1,049 more
sent as a heavy envolope with an address soon to be emptied
lost as
legs leapt
loon loomed
lance lacerated
it was too easy to make the end of the world a sacrifice
too easy to call it the end
if not the end
death or uncertainty?
jue[at]lemony.space